Do you know that feeling when you just want to sleep forever till the things get back to how it used to be? When your expectations are ruined, and the thunder strikes right when it was not raining.

It was not raining at all, that day. 
and it just happened like out of nowhere.
This isn't world I'm goin through. It is a hell.

Takut?

Ini retorika terbesar yang ada di benak gue sekarang. Munafik kalo bilang nggak, tapi ini momen langka: takut sekaligus seneng.
Pertama kalinya dalam hidup, gue yang bebel ini bener-bener pasrah. Gue yang persis robot dan uptight (sebenernya sih aslinya begitu) diserang gelombang ekstrim yang bikin semuanya kacau balau.
Tapi coba pikir deh.
Robot yang berjalan sama terus ga akan pernah tau sampe mana batas resistensinya. Robot ini nyaman, tapi apa? Apakah berkembang? Dia akan stagnan.
Tapi juga sebaliknya, suatu hari dia akan rusak karena terus dipaksa bekerja di luar kapasitas dia. Cuma satu caranya: kinerjanya diimprove. Kalo ga gitu, kapan kita tau di mana kurangnya?
Katanya, we live to the fullest.
Di saat badai, rumah yang tadinya kokoh sekalipun bisa hancur. Saat itulah semuanya harus ditata ulang, karena cari rumah baru pun rasanya ga akan sama.

It's home, where you go back.
It's the nest, where birds belong.
It's the ocean, where flowing water goes to.

A wise man said, he's my safeguard and it was bothering a lot.
The world's keep turning, so here I am. It might be, now is the time to feel being you. This ain't easy and never easy.
And I'm sorry but just so you know: I have a HUGE reason why I always came back as I did.
Anyway, you also can go back home anytime.

Kalo kata The Script sih gini:


"And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder
And I wish you could still give me a hard time
And I wish I could still wish it was over
But even if wishing is a waste of time 
Even if I never cross your mind

I'll leave the door on the latch 
If you ever come back if you ever come back
There'll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat 
If you ever come back"


- If You Ever Come Back.

They say love is letting loose, letting go. Here I am, loving you in quite a distance. And stay forever. Universe will know, as God listens that if we believe it is, then it is. I can see it in your eyes, as you can see in mine that nothing's changed and it's still there. It just burned under, and there needs to be effort to dig it back, ours.
They say, you say, true love is meant to be.
So, let's just see.

E.T.: Are They or arent They?

Extraterrestrial issues recently attracted me. Not forget to mention that I just completed the third Supernova: Partikel and watched Men in Black III. If the ms word could be my analogy, those two sources just made my thought became BOLD.
I never believed in supranatural lives before, but ever since cropcircle issues strike our society, I knew they're out there. One day when the first time I learned about galaxies, the first thing crossed my mind was: "It's not real. the earth might be round but planets? are you kidding me?"
If I lived hundred years earlier, I could be included in those church people who against Galileo Galilei. Yes, I can guess he was seen mocking Pope and church for being conventional. People just need to be open-minded don't they?
I just don't believe things without reasons. Chemical science for me, for example, is an irrational and unseen one. That's why I got 68 on my score sheet 5 years ago.
Well, it just the matter of science, doesn't have anything to do with God or religion thingy. They're separated. Aliens might have lives alike us, or similar presence and appearance. They just live parallel with us, separated by ultra-heavy energy out there called atmosphere. Or, earth might be too hot for them, or anything. I have no idea at the moment, I just can feel they're out there. It could be, both (or more) of our technologies are racing in which can reach each other earlier. They might made it, but lack of evidence makes it doubtful. Plus, conservative people think way too narrow and stuck in wherever they are.
It might be someday, we'll get to know each other. Aliens or us, either one will find a way to adjust themselves and meet up with other 'societies'.

Wait until I watch 'Prometheus'. I heard they got something interesting.

It's been a while since I haven't really lived life to the fullest. I have no idea how to settle down and sit back, relax while seeing things happen around. I live like a robot, self-driven machine. Or society victim, or anything you name it. I don't know what do I seek, what I want. Well, no one actually knows and it goes on. Is it too much if I ask for perfection?
I'm a virgo, never blame me for that.
Let's say, when I'm in love or simply deciding to choose goods, I'd think and consider lots of other things. Which sometimes won't make it better.

A question arised:
How am I going to feel that again? 
Feel alive, let loose, have fun?


As we became older, those three things are hard and harder to get without booze.